Stop pushing through and do this instead to cope with parenting stress
Does it feel like you are in a constant state of stress as you parent?
You’ve probably told yourself, you just need to accept it and that is what you signed up for when you became a parent. You believe feeling stressed and overwhelmed is part of the job of being a parent. It means that you push through and push down your own needs. It’s exhausting and it is starting to impact you both physically and mentally. Trying to manage the challenges that parenting brings are all consuming but how can you weather the parenting storms if you are skipping over yourself? This blog is going to help you recognise what is holding you back from making a change to support you and how quick practical steps can help you truly cope with parenting stress.Stick with me until the end and I have something that is really going to help you.
Do any of these descriptions sound like you?
You feel like you’ve been holding your breath all day. Your stomach is clenched, shoulders are up, the jaw is tight and you’ve tension in your chest. Parenting is leaving you feeling on high alert and ready to put out the next fire. So when someone says “just breathe” it feels impossible.
You are torn between working, managing a house, taking care of the kids and trying to support your child through many challenges. You’re trying to support your child through difficult emotions, additional needs, the turbulence of friendships and worrying about their mental health. The list goes on. Your stress levels are rising and you are consumed with the guilt, feeling you are not managing any of it particularly well.
You are jumping on every thought train. As a stressed parent your head is in a spin with thoughts swirling around about the past and the future. It feels chaotic in your mind, you are in the future “worrying” or in the past turning on yourself about what you did or didn’t do.
You can’t rest or wind down, even if you sit on the couch and watch tv your body is restless. You are in a constant go mode, striving and trying to find solutions for everything.
Your mind is racing and you are tossing and turning at night and unable to get back to sleep. Exhausted and grabbing extra cups of coffee just to get through the day.
Sounds rather like you,isn’t it? These are some of the symptoms that manifest as a stressed parent. But don’t worry, you’re not alone. I have seen this in my own life as a Mum of 4 and in particular when I was trying to support my own anxious child. These are the things I see in parents that come to me for help. What I wish I had known earlier and what I am sharing with parents is that you don’t need to feel this way and you can respond with practical steps to help you truly cope with parenting stress.
What holds you back as a stressed parent from taking steps to support you?
1.You use “I have no time” as an excuse not to put your own needs first
You’re constantly striving and pushing through and trying to get to the end of the day. You are trapped in a mindset that keeps telling you, “ how could I take time to do anything for me when there is always so much to do”.
2.It feels self indulgent
You feel guilty and it feels self-indulgent to do anything for you that will take you away from your children when everything feels chaotic. You push it out and in the back of your head you say “I’ll focus on myself when things settle down”.
3.You’re gathering more and more parenting books
None of these books are helping, and they are overwhelming you. You have lots of information and you don’t know where to begin. These books are leading you further and further away. You’re getting lost and they are taking you away from the bigger picture which is how you can support you.
It’s easy to feel guilty about taking time for yourself. You’re constantly in doing mode. Losing precious time feeling frazzled and feeling stressed is playing on repeat. You deserve not to feel constantly stressed and overwhelmed but to thrive as a parent and to have new energy for you and your family.
I’m not suggesting you go off on a long spa break to help you cope with parenting stress. Of course these breaks away are nice but they are temporary. But here’s what to do instead.
What to do instead to truly cope with parenting stress?
There is an alternative to stop pushing through it is called Mindfulness. Firstly, despite what you might believe, Mindfulness is not all about meditation and sitting in the lotus position for hours on end.It is a practical tool that you can use throughout the stressful moments in your day. Coping with parenting stress is possible for you and it is possible for you even when you are running on empty.
You need to start with small steps and practical things that you can do that take less than 5 minutes in your day. Mindfulness is your parenting toolbox that you can reach for when you’re stressed, overwhelmed and unsure what to do next.
You don’t have to practice mindfulness perfectly, there are no rules, if you miss a day you simply begin again. The more you practice though you are building a foundation and a habit to help you cope with parenting stress.
Mindfulness becomes your compass to guide you through the parenting storms and it literally changes your brain. Research shows that regular short mindfulness practices can reduce activity in the amygdala ( the part of the brain associated with the stress response) and overtime this area begins to shrink in size.
What if,instead of constantly pushing through and feeling constantly stressed as you parent
You discover a way to respond to your racing mind
You know what to do when your stress levels are rising
You can fall back to sleep and no longer toss and turn at night
You feel lighter in your body, centered and grounded like a mountain to navigate parenting with ease
Isn’t it time to make this your new reality and access your parenting toolbox.
Grab How to Cope with Parenting Stress now, my FREE audio guide and discover the 5 minute practices to help you truly cope.